“a chiding word, a bitter word, an upbraiding word .…” 

“But occasionally I am obliged to dig round about, seeing that they have appointed me keeper and dresser in the vineyard. Alas! I who have not cultivated nor kept my own [vineyard] am required, as long as I occupy this post, to dig around sometimes and to apply dung. This is a bothersome thing, indeed, but I dare not leave it undone, knowing [as I do] that an axe is much more harmful than a hoe, [and] fire than manure. Thus I have on occasion both to reprove and to chide; I am not unaware that a chiding word, a bitter word, an upbraiding word is like manure: unless excused by necessity, it makes the one uttering it less pleasant. But what do we do when we see that some are enriched with this manure, but others are clearly assaulted and hardened? It has been written: ‘An idler shall be assaulted with ox’s dung.’ Will anyone chided not be enriched, who bears it mildly, responds gently, and willingly attempts to change? Clearly this enrichment is wholesome and fruitful, so that the just one may reproach with mercy and chide: ‘Let the oil of a sinner not enrich my head! From that richness which the sinner’s oil produces, thorns and thistles sprout forth more abundantly, and each root of bitterness germinates more plentifully. Thus the one who calls the chiding of the just ‘mercy’ gives sufficient indication how it ought to be taken, with a mild spirit and faithful mind, and how much gratitude he ought to have. Thus this enrichment will be wholesome for us who receive it, not fruitful in vice like the ‘sinner’s oil,’ but in that result which, according to the Apostle, we possess for sanctification. (Rm 6:22)

What then do we do for you. O lazy one, who become more irritated and exasperated on account of this mercy? Have you not spread good manure on your field? Why then does it have stones? But you. O human enemy – since one who loves iniquity hates his own soul – you, I say, human enemy, you have done this, you who are proceeding not to expel your slothfulness but to excuse it; you perversely turn your manure into stones, and are assaulted by what you ought to be enriched by. These things I say, brothers, that you may know how mildly you ought to listen to whatever pertains to the salvation of souls, how devoutly you ought to receive it, and how carefully you ought to guard it, and ‘not as the word of humans, but truly as the word of God,’ (1 Th 2:13) whether it seems consoling, warning, or even chiding. … if these things you have heard adhere firmly to your mind.”

– St. Bernard, Sermon on The Solemn Feast of the Apostles Peter and Paul 2, 3 –